Do Look Back In Anger
What advertisers can learn from the Oasis ticket debacle.
Who else wasted their Saturday trying to get Oasis tickets?
For the (un)lucky majority, we endured a pointless pursuit with never-ending queues and accusations of being a bot. For the (un)lucky minority, Ticketmaster’s well-documented dynamic pricing’ system soon nullified the adrenaline of getting through to checkout.
So, what can we learn from this in 5 Oasis songs?
Cast No Shadow
Be upfront and don’t hide things in the Ts&Cs. If something unexpected is going to take place, explain why.
Stand By Me
Don’t punish loyalty. Knowing your customers will move heaven and earth for your product doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want. My last Oasis ticket was purchased in 2009 for £38.50. According to the Bank of England’s inflation calculator, the same ticket today should cost £60 not £355.20!
The Masterplan
Good business boxes clever. Short-term rewards are never as important as the long-term plan. Noel Gallagher can now pay for his divorce with some £30million to spare but the damage to his reputation may live forever.
Supersonic
Make people feel good. Somebody send Oasis a copy of Dale Carnegie’s ‘How To Win Friends And Influence People’. We should be buzzing about the fact we’re finally seeing Oasis live again. Instead, we’re thinking about our new relationship with the credit card company.
Round Are Way
Remember where you came from. The inside cover notes of Morning Glory read “in this town the jury is always rigged but the people know”. Good luck getting a free drink in the Farmers Arms in Burnage now, lads. More likely, the barman is going to activate his dynamic pricing and charge you £40 a pint.
Truth, Lies & Advertising
In Albania.
This summer I went to Albania.
Like most Balkan nations, Albania is a beautiful country with a rich and bloodied history. From Greeks to Macedons. Orthodox to Ottomans. Communists to Capitalists. Albania has seen them all. And right now, it’s reckoning with its latest coloniser.
Instagrammers.
By the end of the Albanian civil war in the late 90s, the country was ranked the 4th poorest nation in the world. In 25 years, its stock has risen more than 100 places. It has even earned the title ‘emerging upper-middle economy’. This is in part down to the country’s open-armed approach to tourism.
At a time when Europe’s holiday hotspots debate tough anti-tourism legislation (Tenerife). Or point a water gun in the face of holidaymakers (Barcelona). Albania extends the laurel wreath. Business owners work hard for your custom. Every restauranteur, hotelier or tour guide operator asks, “Can you leave a good review”?
So, here goes. Albania is brilliant but it isn’t ‘boujee’.
This is a problem because it’s what the Instagrammers are selling. We fall for the promise of Europe’s lost paradise – # I can’t believe it’s not Bali – and leave disappointed. The reality, Albania is ¾ of the promised menu.
They have cool beach clubs, but every 3rd bed is broken. They have white beaches, but they’re pebble, and jam packed. They have crystal-clear waters, but if you point the phone in the other direction, it’s coke cans and a JCB.
As I lay on my broken sun lounger it occurred to me that advertising has the same problem. Every product or service is “award-winning”. Statements without substantiation. A world where ‘reality’ hides behind the Ts&Cs. Is there truth to HG Wells’ claim that ‘advertising is legalised lying’?
In 2023, the ASA received 39,034 complaints. 21,000 of these were online adverts. 89% posted from an organisation’s own website or social media account.
It’s the final frontier in the wild west of advertising. Where misleading claims linger. This is where Instagrammers in Albania play. But the reality is, even the big kids are doing it.
This year, Nationwide received 281 ASA complaints for its ‘A Good Way To Bank’ campaign. It claimed they weren’t closing branches. In fact, many branches did close, and they even turned to reduced trading hours. Pretty Little Thing, Shell, Huel, Ladbrokes, Müller and Etihad also joined them on the naughty step.
It’s not good for business. People stop trusting you. It’s not good for the porte-monnaie, your campaign gets pulled. And worst of all, you might even attract the attention of the dreaded deinfluencers.
The only way to avoid Albanian Burani on your face is to tell the truth in your advertising.
But make it fresh, creative and surprising.
Gëzuar!
No Offence Mate Do You Know Who You're Talking To?
Knowing your audience and targeting a small group of hardcore fanatics.
“We’re all Croats here”, a Bosnian man tells me from behind the glare of a flare. Moments earlier one of his comrades swiped my phone down from the crowd. “Do not take pictures of ultras, they don’t like being identified”.
The irony.
This year, I travelled across the Balkans to Bosnia & Herzegovina. It’s an ethnic melting pot where you navigate the fine line between identity and offence. For example, the term Bosnian relates to a geographical notion, not to a cultural affiliation. Most citizens instead associate with the term Bozniak, Bosnian Serb or Bosnian Croat. Reflecting their Muslim, Orthodox or Catholic background.
Then there’s the region’s ever-changing conquerors and borders. From the Ottoman Empire through to the Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia. Each with their own philosophy on what national identity should be. It’s all very confusing, so you’re forgiven for slipping up, or are you?
I realise the best way to avoid offence is to focus on something any good marketeer worth their salt understands, target audience. You know, that little box in the briefing system? The one that sometimes feels like an afterthought. Problem is, if you use vast generalisations like ‘ABC1’ or ‘affluent people’ with an ultra, you get a bloody nose!
But how often do we get a metaphorical bloody nose from a campaign where we miss objectives, waste money, and potentially offend? Quickly the finger points towards a risky idea or the accusation that we should have ‘played it safe’. But that’s an excuse. Like my evening with the ultras, risk is rewarded with standout moments. But only if it’s calculated and you get the basics right.
So, I made sure to speak about Croatian football. To wear the right colours. And most importantly, for my still unbloodied nose, I knew when and how to change my message as I moved around town. It’s a mixture of research, learning history and understanding motivations. It’s about being specific, conscientious, and empathetic.
The same goes for any advertising campaign. A key reason why they might cause offence is because we speak to large groups of people like they’re all the same. Once a week I see the term ‘family’ as a target audience. The Gambino, the Manson, and the Royal Family are all families. Though I’m certain you’d communicate with each group in a very different way.
So, next time you’re about to start a brief, tailor it to a hardcore few and see for yourself how the message connects. You never know, you might just end up creating something ultra-successful.
8 Travel Tips For Everyday
Finally, a chance to get away from the dreaded email ping, relax and unwind. Some do it with a trip to Disneyland, others with a fried breakfast in Benalmadena. I prefer to book a few chunky weeks off and travel somewhere weird.
This year, it was the Central Asian nations of Kazakhstan and Kyrgyzstan. Home to 7,000+ meter mountains, nomadic tribes, and a big fat soviet hangover. Throw in a few thousand Russians fleeing Putin’s conscription, and it was bound to be a memorable trip.
Here are 8 things I learnt along the way which I’ll take with me back into the day job.
1.) The art of simple communication
In rural places people don’t speak English. In general, they understand the words ‘hello’, ‘yes’, ‘no’ and ‘London’! Keeping communication simple is paramount. In short, never use 5 words when 1 will do. This goes for advertising strap lines, too
2.) Practice your spelling
When sleeping in the mountains in the back of a 4×4, 5G doesn’t exist. Crosswords help keep the mind away from the elusive snow leopards outside. But, if you can’t spell, you’re toast! There’s no excuse for bad spelling and poor grammar in emails and presentations either. Get practicing, or at least get the Hemingway app.
3.) Positivity is everything
If you’re in a sticky situation, positivity gets you out of trouble. When you’re on a roll, positivity leads to more great things. Positive language, body language and facial expressions are infectious. Whether at a military checkpoint full of scary men with AK47’s, or in a boardroom full of scary men with bad suits. Use positivity to bring the best out of everybody.
4.) Ask about opinions and experiences
You learn more after one night on the vodka with a load of Russian runaways than you do in one year listening to the news. Ask people about their opinions and you’ll get information. Ask them about their experiences and you’ll get insight. Talking to clients is good but walking a mile in their shoes leads to great stuff.
5.) See things in their real environment
On the way to Central Asia, I stopped off in Iznik to attend the Nomadic games. The star of the show was a sport called Kok Boru; a traditional horse game made famous by Rambo 3. Watching in a stadium is a thrilling experience. But seeing it played out in the real world is PHENOMENAL. Get away from the laptop and experience things in their real environment.
6.) Invest in good gear
To visit the ghost town of Enilchek you have to cross a snowy mountain path at 3,600M. Whilst locals can do it in a 1980’s Audi 100, I can’t. Choosing an SUV over an economy car gave me the security I needed to drive somewhere my mother labelled ‘stupid’! Forget free trials, ‘lite’ versions, and entry-level equipment. Give your staff good gear and watch them flourish.
7.) Pay the tax
Sometimes, you’ve got to pay the tourist tax. When Police pull you over and insist you’ve done something illegal. Accept it and get on with your day. No hard feelings! The same goes for media and advertising. Need a quick turnaround…pay the tax. Need something unusual…pay the tax. Need special expertise…
8.) Stay cool when things go wrong
Every trip something goes wrong. This time it was a popped tyre, several cancelled bookings, and a lost visa. When these things happen, there are no mass hysteric emails you can send. Take a step back, analyse the options, and continue in the best way possible. Solving a problem shows more class.
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